Jill Haney - The Hyper-Neurotypical?

For those of you who have long ago given up on the print edition of The Cincinnati Enquirer, you've missed out on a fascinating new column the last few months in the Sunday paper by a young lady named Jill Haney, a "certified image consultant".

Whoa.

Now let's think about this for a moment.

We're talking about someone hypothetically SO neurotypical that not only does she excel herself at "social graces" - particularly in workplace settings - but people PAY HER to convey her wisdom on such matters to others.

The first article that really caught my attention was about what attire was appropriate for the office gym. Now think about the irony of this situation. You're in a place that, oh, maybe is supposed to be selling stocks or insurance or something of the sort and they provide a facility intended for building up and showing off rippling muscles and then someone might get OFFENDED if someone exposes too much skin?

Then there was an article about people getting irritated by co-workers clipping nails.

Actually not "irritated".

"Grossed out".

Presumably nauseated.

By someone clipping nails.

Neurotypicals crack me up.

Now come on - if you're going to tackle office behavior that is both psychologically irritating and damaging to productivity, you ought to do some columns on back-stabbing, rumor-mongering, clique-forming, tire-slashing, butt kissing, inappropriate intrigue, and the ever-popular business practices in dire need of whistle blowing.

No ... if you can't handle seeing a little skin, don't build a gym in the office.

And, depending on who it is, I'd LIKE to hear some nail clipping. If the person in question, say, is a sales rep with a meeting in an hour for a $100 million deal, I want to hear nail clipping, shoe shining, and pretty much an entire salon working in that cubicle. It ought to sound like a CONSTRUCTION SITE until that rep is so polished that he or she out-shines the SUN.

Now, let's see what Jill Haney has to gripe about tomorrow ... :)

Previous words of wisdom from Jill Haney:
Undershirts essential for crisp, fresh look - Cincinnati Enquirer July 13, 2008
On 'casual Friday,' leave the T-shirts, Crocs in the closet - Style & Influence March 1, 2008