Two New Paul Johnson Spots Coming Soon To A Radio Near You

As if there were any doubt that my web production skills are starting to get rusty, the Greater Cincinnati area's favorite insurance salesman / pseudo-politician, Paul Johnson, just emailed me two (count 'em), TWO new spots fresh from his crack production team at 55KRC and I can't for the life of me find a good place to host them and post them here at Axinar's.

So, much like the Joy Rolland cable shows, I'm going to have to DESCRIBE them to you.

The first spot lists a whole mess of stuff derived from oil - roads, fertilizer, detergents, etc., that you may already know about - but did you know your TOILET SEAT was made from oil?

I don't think mine is.

It's made out of 100% U.S. WOOD there, Paul.

You certainly have a more vivid imagination than MINE if for an instant you can envision a PLASTIC toilet seat that could hold ME.

Then the spot shifts quite suddenly to the usual insurance pitch with "Anchors Away" playing in the background.

Spot #2 - well ... I'm thinking they better do some thinking about actually airing Spot #2 because *I* am having trouble keeping up.

It starts out, "In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth ... with oil deposits."

Oh, dear.

Now, mind you, when I was in 6th grade they asked us to write the story of the Nativity as if we were reporters there at the time and I started my piece out with a section that said, "Now all the animals are asleep - except of course for the ever alert HOGS ..." and I got thoroughly chastised for being "irreverent".

Now Paul Johnson - flag waver, Bible toter - is misappropriating Genesis himself to make some sort of point about oil.

Oh, dear.

Now, if that's not bad enough, he paraphrases the theme song from the Beverly Hillbillies.

Oh, yeah ... they need to pull this spot before it hits air.

Although, while I am on the subject ...

Have any of you actually bought insurance from Paul Johnson or tried to buy insurance from Paul Johnson? What were your experiences?